Deanne's Blog

Speculums and Gynos

Nothing really gross or too detailed (well sorta) follows don't worry:

I went to the doctor today to get my annual womanly check up. Mine is supposed to be more often but since I have been busy.. unfortunately I put it off. Anyway, I know the NHS has modern medical devices and I am going to a smaller clinic which doesn't have all the bells and whistles so I am not trying to knock the system..

I am used to this type of speculum, even in metal

I was instead given a medievil torture speculum which practically needed two nurses to remove in the end. I have never been told, "cough.... no now... cough... COUGH... LOUDER!!" Wtf!! I just did a military ambush, screaming war cry. I am still confused as to what even happened.. I think I hugged the nurse in victory afterwards and wondered if we should go for a celebratory drink.

It even had a ratcheting device to lock it in to position, which clicked loudly as it was opened wider. This is the closest picture I could find, although I didn't see it, so am basing this on the cranking sounds it made and that it really needed a good dose of WD40

Speculum used on me

I didn't get any stirrups either which was actually nice and I had the luxury of my speculum being run under warm water first so I can't complain. Sorry I am blogging about something other than my more important and less digusting recent travels but it was on my mind. I get my results in 2-3 weeks. Depending on those results, you will either get a normal blog post, or a another vaginocentric epilogue.

Jessica and Alex are at Wimbledon tonight so I had no one else to relay my story to. We leave for Paris, Bruges Antwerp and Amsterdam tomorrow. Hopefully I will be able to post about ourtrip to Dublin and our trip to Poland and our trip to Burnt house.. oh and we need to find that damn camera picture uploading cord...

Cheezburger

more cat pictures

Heading to Krakow

WTF was I thinking booking a flight from Stansted at 6am to Krakow. Jessica and I opted to stay awake all night as we have to catch a bus from our house to the other bus that takes us to the airport. It will be 215am when we leave. Again, it is all exciting for Jessica ... woooo staying up all night! I still have the flu so I am not an enthusiastic about missing the sleep.

It should be good though and we have been practicing our Polish and reading up on the area. I am actually really excited and cautious about visiting here so it will be interesting to finally be there and soak it all in. I will take lots of pictures, pine for my husband and safely have a good time :) We are having a ton of fun and maybe she will get to see some polish goodies... haha yeah, hope not.

Maybe Jessica can buy some more pashminas there and possibly some tea biscuits... the only thing the girl seems to eat .. oh and gorgonzola cheese, steak and potatoes. It is easy to please her and Alex at dinner time.

Alex and Jessica: "What's for dinner?"
Deanne: "Meat, potatoes, cheese, bread"
Alex and Jessica: "Hurray!
Alex and Jessica: What's for dessert?"
Deanne: "tea biscuits and chocolate biscuits"
Alex and Jessica: "Hurray!"

Like shootin fish in a barrel......

Cheezburger

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Flight to Dooooblin

Jessica and I set out for Dublin yesterday and it has been an adventure. We didn't get lost, lose anything, run in to weirdos.. it has just been kinda fun. I have the flu which really sucks but I am trying to stay positive.

Our day started with waking at 5am and out the door by 6.. well I set goals. 6am turned in to about 615 but I planned for that. We had a flight at 11 and I gave myself time to get to the airport because it was Stansted and I had never been there before.

We had to take to the tube to London Victoria, head to the coach station there... which is really ambiguous. There were like 800 busses to the airport and I just took easy bus. I was going to book online for another carrier and I am glad I didn't because I would have never found the right one on time. Easy bus was about 8 quid which was fine and it was a mini bus as apposed to a bazillion person coach. Jessica and I fell asleep instantly and awoke right in time for pulling in to the parking lot at the airport.

Stansted is pretty and small and remote. It kinda sucks though but it is Ryan Airs fault, not theirs. Usually you walk in to an airport and people are in line, walking saying good byes, heading to security... not here. There are a million chairs in the front lobby all of which are taken up by passengers who look angry and well.... kinda trashy. I was one of them so I can't go there really...

If you have been to Ryan Air's website, warning: do not click if you have epilepsy, you kind of get an idea of their quality. By american standards for quality, if United is a 7/10 stars, and southwest is 4/10 stars... Ryan air is about a 1/10. That said, they are the airline with the best on time performance... weird.

Their online check is is discriminatory to Americans and others without an EU passport. You have to go to the desk. Not a big deal you say? Well that is Ryan Air for you... you pay for 99 cent flights with taxes, but they charge you for everything else. Bags, 40 bucks each, priority boarding for the unassigned seats.. 20 bucks... Desk check in.. 15 bucks...change a flight 60 bucks... the list goes on. If they have to help you in any way.. you have to pay.

I had put in my booking we would check in online.. then when I went to do it. I realised this whole fiasco. Luckily I got a slap on the wrist and the gal printed my boarding card without charging us. My boarding card looked like a normal boarding card and it said ryan air on it... but no computers to type in flight details or your name.. so it was all hand written. Weird.

Security was weird.. everyone was angry, passengers and personel alike. We got yelled at and practically whipped like a herd of poor circus elephants to move down the line for security. I was so pissed but at least Jessica thought it was funny and novel. She also liked that there was no Jetway and you had to walk across the tarmac to the airplane and climb the cruddiest set of stairs to board the 737-800. She felt like a movie star... I was hoping no one saw me.

On the plane.. ouch.. everything is navy blue and yellow and the over head luggage comartments are riddled with ads. There is cheesy music playing that has a voice over doing adverts for ryan air. No seat back pockets, no reclining seats, and your emergency exit information was a sticker on the back of your seat. The flight attendants are just sales people who, and I am sure they are trained for emergencies, don't even do the safety information as you are taxiing. There are no screens for a video, just a cheery obnoxious, amusement park style voice over telling you what to do in the event of emergency. The attendants do point at the exits though...

You can shop on board, and can't even get a cup of water and a bag of peanuts.. all luxuries had to be paid for. When you land.. trumpets sound and they tell you hurray we had another on time landing! Scared the crap out of me. I thought it would say hurray! We are all still living! NO it wasn't that bad but it was a bumpy ass flight which I personally am attributing to the pilots who were practicing making passengers sick with extreme yaw. I guess they don't care much which is sad.

We land in Dublin and luckily we were the only non EU people flying Ryan Air that day because their terminal was full of EU citizens.. this meant we got through immigration in a snap! On a bus... in Dublin.. in a hostel... roamed the streets.. taking pictures of juxtaposition :p Doing a bus tour today... should be good!

It has been fun but sheesh getting here was almost more interesting..

Cheezburger

more cat pictures

My Adorable Neices

I was looking through my sisters photos and was realizing how cute all of my neices are. I am the youngest of three girls and my eldest sister had three girls, so it was no surpise when my other sister found out her first child would be a girl too. I was happy no matter what because well... I am not good with kids, but at least I know girls. Well, girls in my family who are a bit more unconventional... more like tom boys. Right up my alley...

Lindsey, Camryn holding Elana, and Kasey

My first 3 neices were are all each the custest babies I had ever seen and new baby Elana was no exception. She looks just like her dad and probably will look like her Auntie Shannie, her dad's sister. Alex got to meet Elana first because he flew back to California before me. I was sooo jealous!

Alex and Elana

We got her a mat to play on which has toys dangling from it and she totally loves it thank god! I don't like to be responsible for making babies cry.. look at her blue eyes!

Elana Playing

Here she is sporting an adorable kitty dress! Yay!

And here is an awesome moment... she was just learning to smile when I was there but this is a few weeks later. When I gave her a bath, she wasn't too happy but I guess her mom does it better :)

Big Smiles!

Here is a picture of my neices on 70's day at school. Camryn doesn't go to school but she picked out her own outfit for the day.

I miss a lot of people in California but these four really get to me. They are all so unique and sweet. It sucks not being around for them growing up but at least we have internet these days and I can be sent pictures, talk online and call on the phone. I love them to death and I hope that even this far away, Alex and I can still be a big part of their lives!

I Always Hated Teeth

The funniest thing I have seen in a while. (warning I have a sick sense of humor.) This is an actual trailer for an actual movie.

Great new movie called Teeth. Basically it is about a teenage girl who is becoming sexually active or something and her vagina has TEETH!!!! Not only that, it eats penises. The movie shows how having a set of teeth in your vagina can be good for warding off rapists, yet bad for young lovers.

Here are some parental warnings from the movie's imdb listing that made me fall on the floor laughing:

"Man tries to have Anal sex with Woman but is denied. Starts Vaginal Sex. Ends with Severed Penis being eaten by a Dog."

"Prolonged images of severed male genitalia, frequent blood & gore due to severed Penis."

"One scene of a man's fingers being chomped off."

"Actual cutting not shown but severed penises shown. May be frightening for some."

Cheezburgers

Reminded me of Daisy :( Cute lol tho

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Jessica is here!

I went to Heathrow last night to pick up Jessica which is a moment we have all been anticipating for a while. Alex had just been up for about 36 hours straight because he had just gotten back from NY with conferences before and after the flight and no sleep on board. He was off the hook for the airport run so I went on my own.

I was such a nerd I was like shaking with excitement because this is the first visitor I have had! Plus it is Jessica's first time travelling and I am just really excited for her. I guess I remember how I felt when I first traveled and how amazing it was.

But she is here.. in my hands... scary. I still feel like a kid so I feel like I have to be really adult now :) She is almost an adult so I don't think it is like I am babysitting or anything ( although I used to baby sit her and her brother :) However, I do feel responsible for her experience here so I hope Alex and I do a good job.

I put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself but I know she will have fun and that is my main concern. Oh well... I will try not to worry :)

So off to the city center today and probably down the pub to watch a couple football games this evening. Everyone is still jet lagged so we will take it easy today. I think I have jet lag but I only took an hour train home from Grannies yesterday.. I have Granny lag. No I think it is, "you got yourself worked up and now your sleep is messed up," lag.

U P D A T E: GOD DAMN this girl is hard to get out of bed :p

We did have a few Asbos in the alley way below us last night. Hehe.. welcome to Friday nights in London. People are drunk on the tube and rude, people are drunk in the streets and pissing on houses, and people are drunk in the alley way screaming for no apparent reason at 2am. Poor thing! It usually isn't THAT bad and for it all to hit you in your first couple hours.. sheesh. Actually even I was surprised..

Might be a funny movie :)

Ben Stiller can be totally hit or miss.. hopefuly this is a hit. The trailer made me laugh but I hope there is more in the movie :)

Excited!

Going to Granny's tomorrow morning and then a couple days later Alex gets home in the morning.. and then my cousin Jessica arrives in the evening!

So much to look forward to! Short post. Unlike me. bbl :)

Poor America

Are we that dumb? I guess so.

Here is an article from a few folks interviewed in Pennsylvania

Here are a few quotes with my commentary:

".. In the April 22 primary, Susick voted for Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, who carried Pennsylvania by 10 percentage points. Perhaps more troubling for Obama, one in four Clinton's backers told exit pollsters they would vote for McCain if Obama were the nominee; an additional 17 percent said they would not vote at all."

What the hell? Change parties or don't vote? Is that how it works?!
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"..In interviews with 40 Pennsylvanians across three counties that Clinton won by big margins, only one person indicated opposition to Obama simply because of his race. But several others said their neighbors might do so."

I don't hate black people.. but that guy probably does. I love this.
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""I don't think we're ready for either one yet," said Doug Richardson, 62, a contractor from Latrobe. Obama "just hasn't impressed me," he said over midmorning coffee with a friend at Denny's. "His middle name bothers me a lot." That name is Hussein."

This makes no sense at all. I guess you can hate all Josephs, and Adolfs, Kims, Omars, Roberts, Vladimirs, Alexanders, and Benitos too.
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""I think he's a snake oil salesman," she said. "He's a little too slick and smooth. He just doesn't appeal to me, and not because of race, definitely," she said in an interview in which race had not been mentioned."

Wait who mentioned that?
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"Robert Miller, 72, who lives in a government subsidized room in Bedford, said the Constitution should be amended so it will "not let any colored people run for the White House." He seemed unsure about his voting record in recent elections, but vividly recalled voting for Dwight Eisenhower in 1956. "

Lots of these folks vote.. whether they remember they did or not.
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"Dixie Pebley of Johnstown, 71, explained her distaste for Obama, saying, "black doesn't bother me, but Muslim does." When reminded that Obama is a Christian, she conceded the point, but added: "He was born Muslim and raised Muslim, that's enough for me. He just scares me to death." Obama, the son of a white mother from Kansas and black father from Kenya, was born and raised in a mostly secular family that occasionally attended Christian services. He joined the United Church of Christ as a young adult."

Yes, just as Jews scared the Nazi's to death. Have you seen the Christian extremists, and Jewish extremists.. they blow people up too. That is why they are extremists. Oh wait.. the folks that did that back before you remember.. you know the ones that killed non christians in the name of God... what are they called now? Ohh yeah... Saints. Its okay, that happened a long time ago though when it wasn't actually important.

Implanon V Depo Provera

For the followup and subsequent removal of implanon, please click here.

Thought I would talk about my birth control experiences because I am in a bad mood with it right now. Maybe it is my side effect mood swings.. I don't know if I am getting those actually but ask Alex. I started birth control fairly young at about 16 or 17 because womanhood for me was painful and I was experiencing the monthly sessions of horrific agony. To let you know, I have a high threshhold for pain, and I was told that for me to be in that much pain was unusual. The answer was Depo Provera or scientifically, Medroxy Progesterone. No monthly stuff, no pill, just a shot n my arm or butt ever 3 months. EASY.

I was lucky to never have any of the problems that others did with Depo and it worked perfectly for me. The only side effect I experienced was probably osteoperosis because for the 10 years I was on it, I lost an inch in height and went down a shoe size. As with any birth control, what works for some doesn't work for others and me and Depo rovera were made for each other.

Why would I have changed all that. Well losing bone mass kinda sucks but also with Depo Provera, it stays in your system for a long time even after missing shots. It can take 6mons to 2 year.. most say about a year and a half to get pregnant. Now I am NOT getting pregnant, but it is something that I will want to do and I would rather say "NOW" than "Lets stop birth control and see what happens in the next couple years.."

I went to my local GP, who I had never seen before, for my regular shot and was told it was strange I was on Depo that long. True. It is not recommended for long term use for the bone loss stuff. I was recomended Implanon. K... and that is? A single rod you get stuck in your arm that lasts for 3 years. No pills, shots, no thinking about it for 3 years. Even though it is free here in the UK, I was sold. BTW.. it is about 600-800 bucks in the US.

I had a few last minute questions.. like wait, you are putting a rod in my arm? How big is it? Answer: The size of a matchstick or hairpin.

Me: How do you get it in? GP: With a GIGANTIC needle that could hold and inject a matchstick.. oh like this! ( don't worry the area is numbed and it really didn't hurt at all but jeeeeez)

Me: Can you see it afterwards? GP: No ( Just a bruise for about a week)

Bullshit! Actually no you can't see Implanon very well but you can feel it and I am sure if I was thin you could see it. Wait... I am not thin? How did that happen. I have weighed 125 pounds for the past 4 years. Now I weigh 135. And my skin breaks out badly. And I get headaches and I am kinda moody. Kinda Moody? Okay well I cry at the touch of a button where as with Depo I was the other extreme of being relatively cold and not controlled by emotion. I kinda liked it that way actually and after being like that for ten years, it was just a part of me. I have always been caring and compassionate but to see something fake in a commercial on tv make me cry is ridiculous and angering.

I never had many problems on Depo Provera but Implanon is kickin my butt. It just does not suit me but I don't feel like getting it removed just yet. Honestly, this could have happended with a switch to most birth controls. At least I don't have any monthly crap starting again, but if it does.. I am ripping it out myself.

Again.. certain birth controls are not for everyone. If everyone had my experienc eon Depo Provera, more people would use it. If I knew this would happen on Implanon, I would have said hell no. I am just pissed that in 2 months, I have had to buy some new jeans and shorts because my new fat ass won't fit in them.

If I want it removed it will look like this

How far did I Walk?

Ever wonder how far you walked somewhere? Sick of trying to map it online but are left guessing at adjusting for one way streets and paths cars cannot take, but you know are there?

Try this.

It is the Google map pedometer and you can basically end up clicking all around a map plotting your EXACT route. It does everything as the crow flies and disregards whether or not there is a road, or a building, or a big green area listed as a park. you can click click click and map your whole walking journey easily with a running tally of mileage or kilometer.

Normal pedometers you attach to your shoe or clothing don't always seem accurate to me, Alex went 3 miles and I went 4? This is perfect!

Standing Up Can Kill You

I browse through wikipedia occaisionally for fun and came across this article when resaerching passing out.

Basically a healthy person who is in a standing position for 10-60 minutes runs the rick of fainting. Reason being you have no blood circulation and oxygen cannot get to your brain. This is why people standing at attention in the army or a marching band etc will pass out. People most as risk are those who are in harnesses; parachuting, rock climbing, fall arrest systems.. the list goes on.

If someone is in this position for too long they must be sat down immediately to avoid fainting or after they faint for at least 30 minutes. You can try getting them to move their legs around but after a short period of time this will not work and if they stop, they absolutely will pass out.

Death comes as a result of someone being layed down after passing out if they were suspended or standing for too long. The blood rushing back can cause heart attack and organ failure. Damage and risks may not even show for weeks!

It may not happen to everyone but the risk is there. If it was that prevalent, you would have heard about it before or know.. so yeah. I would say don't worry too much. But is is kinda weird.

And now,an old favorite, the Fainting Goats:

Owning a home sucks

The house a few doors up from us

The house behind us

The market is crap. Those listing prices worry me. Ridiculously lower than they should be, well I want to them to be, and they were in higher 2004-2005. There are a few other homes for sale doing shitty as well. Some have just added to the MLS listings, and some have been sitting for months, some have given up.

Everyone at our old neighborhood in Tracy which was once full of happy families and pride, has apparently moved away, foreclosed, went bankrupt had their house repossesed. The streets are lined with scattered trash cans, junk, over grown dead lawns... I got a tear in my eye. It used to be so beautiful and walks through the parks were fun... now the park is graffitied and all the grass has died. The folks who bought our house are still there, same cars, and I wonder if they know how bad it is. The whole area felt like a vacated gloomy place that I would NEVER want to live in...

This is the CURRENT value of our old home is $320k, however it has no upgrades and I know the new owners didn't add anything except cheap plastic floors. The Value Range is the high and low estimated market value for which Zillow values a home. Value Range: $243,000 - $330,480. A similar house around the corner is on the market for $289,000.

THAT IS LESS THAN WE PAID 6 YEARS AGO. Here is the chart!

Zillow is a great resource for looking up home prices, trends and your neighborhood. It is a real, find how much your house is worth site, and you see results instantly after typing only an address. Click on the listing and look at the high and low of your property. Remember, your sales price in this market is more on their low side.. even if you have a nice place or have remodeled it. It can hurt right now so not for the faint of heart...

I wish it all away..... wish wish wish. Not funny anymore.

Cheezburgers

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Woman accused of setting gas price protest fires

About 10 miles from my hometown...

A woman decided to buy some logs, place them in gas station bathrooms, and light them on fire. Oh and a starbucks... cuz umm.. they sell fuel sometimes too. And where the hell did she get fireplace logs at this time of year? Nothing bad ended up happening though.

Not a great effort. Not thought out.. does she realize that most gas stations have 10-20k gallon tanks under ground for each of the 3-4 fuel types? Was she trying to wipe Danville off the map? I am sure the other citizens of Danville will turn their nose up at her now, although they turn their noses up to everyone anyway. Dumbass.

Read the article here

New Mitsubishi L200

Weird.. looks like a car with a truck bed strapped to it. I like it and then I don't. Doesn't matter because I am not buying a car soon anyway :)

Old news now

Still funny though.. Here is CNNWorld news' video of it. There is also an article. I always thought it was strange it wasn't banned originally too.

We are 4 stations away from the circle line so I am glad we stayed in due to my jet lag. I just couldn't have stood the vomit fest it turned in to...

Washing Clothes

Don't get me wrong I love having a washer and dryer because I know not everyone living in London has that luxury. But jesus it takes an hour and 10 minutes to wash a small load and another 2 hours to dry.

There is no setting for the dryer except the time and if you set it too low, clothes don't dry. Too high and they can shrink. Everything always comes out wrinkled. Why is washer dryer technology not up to American standards yet? I never had to iron or worry about clothes fading, changing color or shrinking.

I wish I had my washer and dryer from the states where it took an hour and a half for a large load to wash and dry. Doing two large loads of laundry was an easy task back there.. here it is 3 loads and a days worth of work.

Mean Money Green

I don't think green is my favorite color. I always thought it was orange but I guess I am wrong. I am just drawn to green. All my clothes are green and I only have one orange sweater. I made my new blog green.

Why I am pondering this? I don't know. I guess I just learned something about myself today.

In other news, I made Chicken Divan for dinner tonight. It is a meal, not stripper.

Not great

Not a great blog makeover but it will do for now. I will tweak as time goes by. Oh well.

Been a long time

So I had my long ridiculous ramble below about my cats and getting them here. Oh the conclusion is that they made it to the UK after I was tagged with about 1600 bucks worth of fees. Brilliant! But they are doing really well and haven't changed.. puke on the kitchen floor, 24/7 needs for cuddling, Kitty drools, Stinky squeaks, and I even had a little turd near the front door the other day when I walked in! Thanks Kitty! yeah I have cats called Kitty and Stinky.. so what.

I don't normally write posts that long. Anyway, after a few years I think I can get back in to blogging as I used to be obsessive about it. I have removed my old posts though except for a VERY outdated top 30 list of things to do. The good news is, I have done a lot on my list.

First.. I need to change my lay out and header etc. because this page is kinda funky. Maybe for another day. I need to shower right now. Bleh.