Deanne's Blog

Dramatic Cat

Dramatic Cat... Freakin hilarious!

Or.. this one Dramaitic Prarie dog. The original which is just as hilarious.

Or.. this one which is funny/cute on the same wave length :)

Stinky (not my cat)

My BO smells like eucalyptus. It is weird. Unless I eat curry then I smell like curry. There were eucalyptus trees by my house where I grew up and I never knew if it was me or the trees. I hate that smell though..blech. Ironically, Alex likes both eucalyptus and curry so I don't worry if I smell around him.

FYI, my cat's name is Stinky.

Photos are up!

Here!

Waxing Satirical

I am a somewhat hairy girl. If you took everything I said about how much hair I have as the truth, you would expect to see wolf girl. I really don't have that much hair, just the hair I have I hate it. It isn't even dark but I hate hair on my legs, my arm pits, my arms, and apparently my eyebrows recently as they are starting to look like awkward parenthesis. I shave all of the above except I pluck my eye brows.. My razors can barely take all of that and I need to replace them almost every time. I don't know why it is so satisfying to not have hair. It is completely natural and normal but I don't want to be dubbed a hippy or a European.

I know ladies know this feeling.. You need a change, you want to do something fun.. sometimes people will notice, sometimes only you will notice. It can be as drastic as bleaching your hair blonde or as minimal as getting a manicure. it is usually triggered by anything from a break up in a relationship to being really bored. My trigger was being told I couldn't fly to the UK with my cats and I had to wait.

I thought, you know what? I think I have a mustache. And I mean honestly I do but it is not that bad and every girl has one.. trust me. But for some reason I just kept thinking about it and I decided to remove it. Not shaving or plucking but rather a new method to me; waxing.

I had waxed my mustache before.. well like 3 times in the almost 15 years since I went through puberty. I never really had an issue but I knew my lip would be red and a bit sore so I went and bought some wax strips, along with some soothing cream. I went to my folks house all excited and did all the necessary prep work and then got down to business.

No, it is not that painful and you don't even tear up but when it was done it was pretty irritated. Aha! Soothing cream. I put it on and thought, wow this sucks. it burns and that actually did make my eyes water. Oh well, it is red and and looks good I guess. I decided to then go gt my hair cut too since it is so cheap in the US. As the lady was washing my hair, my lip was burning and I remember thinking I should have just had them do it here. I had too much pride (at the time) and plus, I am cheap.

By the time I got home and did my hair I noticed something horrible. My lip was turning brown and burned SO bad. I stupidly put more cream on. It burned more. Well now everyone was coming home from work so I decided to go on a walk and try to forget what had happened. After, we went home and watched a movie.. anything to avoid looking at myself.

Unfortunately, it was unavoidable and I had to look at myself the next morning. Have you ever burned your hand on a hot pan, or your forehead on a curling iron? (The ladies know what I am talking about.) It turns red, then, brown and eventually becomes scabby, like in the you have no skin so your skin is trying scab but can't.

That is what I had done. I burned my lip. For the next 2 weeks I had a scab... that was brown.. and the size of a mans mustache on my upper lip. To make matters worse, I had to put neosporin on it so that it would heal and so that while it healed, I could talk,eat and smile or more the case, pout. Without the neosporin, my entire upper lip was immobile and you couldn't move your mouth without your newly healing skin ripping open. With the neosporin, you had not only your ugly burned brown lip showing, but actually amplified because it now looked shiny and greasy WHICH YOU CANNOT COVER IN MAKEUP. No one wants to talk to you and your own family will laugh at you.

It was made just slightly worse because I would say my mustache burn looked slightly manicured. I waxed my whole upper lip but with a wax strip on either side, you don't really cover the divet in your lip under your nose which was unharmed for me.

I had a sassy french mustache... well actually i looked like this dude:

And what am I left with? Well scarring of course. Oh and it is a nice shade of brown the scar is and you cannot cover it with makeup. And by the time everything had healed, the hair grew back. It grew back ever over the darker scar and even though the hair is blonde, it accentuates the scar. I even for a moment had the thought, well I guess I should wax it again. So I guess I can look forward to some sort of chemical peel or laser surgery now because it looks bad. I can laugh a bit now but still... think twice before trying it.

Oh and for this twat. If you can start a site dedicated to girls mustaches, I am going to start a site for boys who are oblivious to giant pieces of ear wax hanging out their ears. Oh and boys who piss on toilet seats.. and boys who don't shave their faces well...and other personal hygene issues boys seem to have more often than girls but are oblivious to, and for some reason expect higher qualities in women. Its all in good fun... but twat.

F*@% Victoria Secret

I hate Victoria's secret. I really do.
Even their models hate it.

Their cute and sexy bras are only for tiny boobies. If you are over a 34C US sizing, good luck because your colors will be limited to red black tan and white. If you see the patterned bras for for the larger chested lady, they usually resemble your Grand mothers flowered lace curtains and the shoulder straps are made from seat belts. They are huge and unflattering.. and they want like 50 bucks for the crappiest one.

I hate seeing all the girls go in their wasting their money and saying oooh I love Victoria's, their bra's are so cute! Who cares about cute. The only person who will say your bra is cute is your sister, you mom and your friend that helped you pick it out. Your bra should be functional AND OR sexy. Your boyfriend or husband doesn't want to be reminded of his horrible childhood when he was forced to fold his mom's and sisters clothes... yuck. They want sexy not cute or for you to feel comfortable and not be bitchy, either will do.

Trust me, just because your husband/boyfriend watches the Victoria Secret Catwalk show on TV every year doesn't mean you should wear the stuff. It is just an excuse to look at hot women and say things to justify it like, honey you would look good in that.. and I like that color.. and what ever else he can say that sounds convincing enough to you so he can keep watching. Boys have internet and magazines and those girls are often NOT wearing fluffy white panties and diamond encrusted bras with gaudy angel wings on their backs.

So.. and I get a lot of slack, but I prefer Fredericks. Ewwww.. I always hear. Slutty girls shop there. They always have moderately impractical dress up lingerie in their store front which seems to turn people off. But, if you went in and did a test drive of their bras, I am sure your opinion would differ. They are comfortable, last forever, come in TONS of colours and they have bras for all booby sizes.. no discrimination.

Yes they have dress up stuff and neat things to stuff your bra with to make you look bigger.. but they also have bras for every style of clothing, changeable straps and in their catalogue there is even more. They have clothes and a lot of them are really cute! They are also for women with bigger boobs who can't always fit in to the 3 inches they allow for your boobs in a baby doll top.

Pricing? Reasonable and a little less than Victoria secret. They have bras that feel good and look good and that your friends wouldn't always look at and say ooh how cute! But they work... and I have never been disappointed. I can go on about Victoria's Secret stuff but I won't.

Will I find something at Victoria Secret that I will like? Of course. I don't hate just to hate. But I will always try my luck at Fredericks first.. me and all the other "slutty" chicks.

Now that I'm alone..

I don't have Jessica around anymore to keep me company so I am left to entertain myself while of course, looking for a job. But anyway, to pass the time I was trying to find something I have always wanted to do. I don't think I have the balls to be ON a gameshow or tv show but I have always wanted to be in an audience...

My story begins when I was 11 years old. My family used to spend sunday nights watching our favorite show, America's Funniest Home Videos, hosted by the one and only Bob Saget. We loved the show and so when we heard they were coming to town we immediately tried to get tickets. We got 6 tickets for my two sisters, mom and dad, my gram and me. I was SOOO excited. I was less excited to find out that the show was just being broadcast by satellite for the 100k finalist show, but none the less we were going to be on tv in an audience watching the show live.

Well I don't know what really happened... no one checked the tickets before hand for age restrictions, or we called or what. I just know I got all dressed up in my favorite hot pink v neck sweater, hair sprayed my bangs and big as they could go and feathered my hair all pretty. And then.. the news was broken to me, the moment we walked out the door. I was too young to go. I had to be dropped off at my Great Aunt's house and sit there... not even a cousin came by to keep me company. It was horrible. I think I went to the couch and cried myself to sleep in their house.

The age restriction was 12 and I was 11. My parents and their ridiculous need to adhere to pointless rules made the final decision. I didn't have anything to prove that I was 12 or 11 for that matter and anyway my birthday was about 4 months away.

Another year later my grandmother got tickets for Wheel of Fortune. Yes it was a crap game show but I was excited once again.. being all old and 12 and all. BUT.. we show up and didn't realize we had tickets for the show, but not seats and you had to queue early to get in. We didn't get in.

No more... never again did I try to get on a show, until recently. About a year ago, I was watching Americas Funniest Home Video reruns on the CW which was my vice before I went to bed every night. Well whadda y'know.. it was the episode my family was on. Alex didn't beleive me but OH yes I remembered and then.. the voting sequence came. Of all the people in SFO to film up close voting, it was my family. First Gram...... then Donna... then my mom.. then dad... then darla. Right up in their faces. Not me tho and once again my sad moment as a child was being relived.. nearly 15 years later.

So I have tried to get on shows in LA and NY and due to last minute bookings, I never was able to get tickets to the shows I wanted. When I moved to London, I put myself on every list for every show I liked. About.. 8. NONE have tickets yet and I sadly sit on a waiting list.

But one show has not let me down. It is not my first choice but it will do :) So next time you watch the British Who Wants to be a Millionaire, look for me in the audience. I have one ticket. I am above the age required. I have to wear dark clothes and I will show up early to grab a place in line if there is one.

Thats it.. so next week... hopefully my dream will come true. I will be the best audience member ever AND.. in millionaire, the audience is one of options to help the player so my vote may help someone else win money! Yay. So happy.

:)

This gave me the chills.... so adorable

Maps and crap

Just testing this map out. I have it on Facebook and I did the cities, but for some reason I couldn't transport that map to here which is lame. I did all the countries and states in the US though again. I just realized I have been to 25 of the 50 states! Wow... sounds like half but geographically it is like nothing. Oh and saying I went to Hong Kong makes it look like I have been the the whole of China. Physically, it would be like going to a tiny island in Hawaii and saying you have been to the US. I mean yeah you have.... but they are such different places so not really.

I really feel like I have traveled a lot and been to a lot of places, however, I look at a map and don't think so. I look at California which I have driven up and down a million times and visited so many cities... then compare that to the size of other countries and areas... sheesh. I mean California is huge! I will never see it all but I hope I come close in my lifetime. Oh and I want to go to every state too so I need to plan a cross county road trip of the southern area starting with New Mexico. Maybe another later which includes Canada's Provinces? I dunno.. wishful thinking.

HPV and ME

So I have HPV and it kinda sucks. I never knew I had it, I never had any sort of signs that I had it, and I am not a promiscuous whore. I am sick of all the misinformation that people have about HPV so i wanted to write about it, not that I am an expert.

Basically there are tons ( like 50+ strains or something) forms of HPV which is transmitted sexually. You can have only had one partner to get HPV so obviously, the more partners you have, or that your partner has had, increases your risk. Men carry it but it doesn't do anything to them. Most types do nothing and about 2 cause warts and another 2 are responsible for 70% of all cervial cancers. I unfortunately tested positive about a year or so ago for the latter.

HPV can lay dormant for years and knowing that I have been with Alex for over 8, that should say something. According to research it can take between 5-7 years on average for HPV to show or do damage. I had regular paps in the past although relatively inconsistant but never had any abnormal cells so no one knew. YOU NEED to ask to be tested for HPV when they do your pap. They just do another test on your smear so it is not a big deal. Fyi just because you test negative once, doesn't mean you don't have it.

Why don't they do this normally? Because it costs money and so they will only test after you get an "abnormal cells" pap AND because even if you do have it, there is nothing you can do except that you know to get paps more often i.e. every 6 months to monitor it. You will always have HPV but you can monitor its activity easily this way and if you have abnormal cells, which is basically the early stages of cervical cancer, they can remove them and stop it from becoming cancer.

So although I have what they call high risk HPV, I do not have cancer. It can sometimes, like in my case, take some time until the HPV decides to kick in to action. There are about 3 levels of abnormal cell changes called dysplaysia, 1 being "you have hpv and some weird cells" to 3 "you have precancerous cells." When you pass this, you basically have cancer, although, it is still VERY treatable and most women can recover.

Progressing from each stage can take a lot of time so some doctors, like mine in the US, decided to wait. My time frame was normal pap the year before to abnormal pap about a year later. Further tests on the cells, a colposcopy and a biopsy later indicated I had high risk HPV and stage 2. My doctor freaked me out and wanted to prep for surgery after the colposcopy.. I don't know why because then a week after he said no it is fine actually and he can operate or we can wait. I personally opted to wait although now I think about it, I should not have. Honestly, and not to sound conspiracy theoryish, I think it was a cost issue in the US with the insurance companies because it wasn't cancer yet and there was a chance that it could resolve itself.

My follow up six months was supposed to be in January and as you know I moved to the UK. So now it has been a year since that last visit. I had not really had time, although I should have made time, to go to the doctor. I feel guilty going and receiving "free" legitimate healthcare but that is another story.

Anyway, so I get results for my test in a week or two I am told and I am anxiously awaiting the result. I will be fine either way so I am not really worried but more annoyed with the unknown. The answer will be either you are fine or you have stage 3 dyplasia or cancer.. which don't worry is again totally treatable. I am pretty laid back about it because I know I will still be treatable no matter how unpleasant it may be. If I had waited another year I would be more concerned.

Getting the HPV vaccination for women 9-26 years old.
PLEASE LISTEN.. two things that concerned me that I have heard from close friends.

---------"I can't get HPV because I am a lesbian."

---------" I don't want my daughter to get the shot because I know she will not be a whore and I don't want to think that they would be sexually active like that."

Both are wrong wrong wrong. Do I have to say again I am not a whore? This is taking such a gamble with your life or their life. Get the shot even if your daughter only sleeps with one other virgin for the rest of their life. It is like saying yeah I will gamble that my kid will not get cancer.. Do your own research and try not to think about your preteen or childs sexual future but rather their life. Condoms will not protect against this disease and it only takes minimal skin to skin contact.. not blood or liquids or penetration.

Also, US teenage girls and young women only get pap smears for one reason. Because if they are smart enough to go get prescription birth control, it is required usually the first visit. Depending on the clinic or doctor, they can be really inconsistant as to how often or if they do paps ever again. There are many cases of girls in their early 20's with cervical cancer. It is also kinda sad that girls won't or cannot ask their moms, sisters or other female role models about all of this when it can prevent cancer and other diseases.. just because it is an embarrasing taboo subject OR like in my case.. I figured I already knew most everything. I was lucky enough that I always knew when I wanted to I could talk to my mom or my sisters.

The statistic that 50% of people who have had sex have a form of HPV... it is like roulette wheel as to which form you get and that statistic is jaw dropping to me. You can have multiple forms as well. There is no cure just monitoring once you know you have it. YOU probably have it but it is dormant and no one ever tested your pap for HPV.. ask to be tested if you want to but there is kind of no point unless you have abnormal cells and.. the test only really tests for the most popular strains.

I will say now that they do not use a general anesthetic for removal of the cells in your cervix and you are fully awake. They are scraped or burned off and it really sucks. This and the stress is much more unpleasant than a simple shot. Here is some more information below from the FDA. If you do research, only go to official websites for official organizations, not message boards etc. My post is my own experience from what I have been through and learned, but it certainly isn't the gospel. Based on my experience, had the shot been around when I was a child, I hope my parents would have made me get it.

The following is taken directly from the FDA website.

What is HPV?
HPV (human papillomavirus) is a sexually transmitted virus. It is passed on through genital contact (such as vaginal and anal sex). It is also passed on by skin-to-skin contact. At least 50% of people who have had sex will have HPV at some time in their lives.

Why haven't I heard of HPV?
HPV is not a new virus. But many people don't know about it. Most people don't have any signs. HPV may go away on its own-- without causing any health problems.

Who can get HPV?
Anyone who has ever had genital contact with another person may have HPV. Both men and women may get it -- and pass it on-- without knowing it. Since there might not be any signs, a person may have HPV even if years have passed since he or she had sex.

What makes a person more likely to get HPV?
Most people who have sex may get HPV. You are more likely to get HPV if you have:

sex at an early age,
many sex partners, or
a sex partner who has had many partners.

If there are no signs, why do I need to worry about HPV?
There are many kinds of HPV and not all of them cause health problems. Some kinds of HPV may cause problems like genital warts or cervical cancer. HPV types 16 and 18 cause about 70% of cervical cancers. HPV types 6 and 11 cause about 90% of genital warts.

Is there a cure for HPV?
There is no cure for the virus (HPV) itself. There are treatments for the health problems that HPV can cause, such as genital warts, cervical changes, and cervical cancer.

What should I know about genital warts?
There are many treatment choices for genital warts. But even after the warts are treated, the virus might still be there and may be passed on to others. If genital warts are not treated they may go away, stay the same, or increase in size or number, but they will not turn into cancer.

What should I know about cervical cancer?
All women should get regular Pap tests. The Pap test looks for cell changes caused by HPV. The test finds cell changes early -- so the cervix can be treated before the cells turn into cancer. This test also can also find cancer in its early stages so it can be treated before it becomes too serious. It is rare to die from cervical cancer if the disease is caught early.

Is there a test for HPV?
Yes. It tests for the kinds of HPV that may lead to cervical cancer. The FDA approved the HPV test to be used for women over 30 years old. It may find HPV even before there are changes to the cervix. Women who have the HPV test still need to get the Pap test.

Can I lower my chances of getting HPV?
You can choose not to have sex (abstinence).
If you have sex, you can limit the number of partners you have.
Choose a partner who has had no or few sex partners. The fewer partners your partner has had -- the less likely he or she is to have HPV.
It is not known how much condoms protect against HPV. Areas not covered by a condom can be exposed to the virus.
What is the HPV vaccine and how does it work?
The vaccine, called Gardasil, mimics the disease and creates resistance. It is NOT a live or a dead virus. It prevents infection with HPV types 6, 11, 16 and 18.

Is it safe?
Tests of the vaccine showed only minor problems. Some people had a slight fever. Others had redness or irritation on their skin where they got the shot.

Is it effective?
Gardasil is between 95-100% effective against HPV types 6, 11, 16, 18.

Who should get the HPV vaccine?
The FDA has approved Gardasil for girls and women ages 9-26. It is best to get the shot before the start of sexual activity.

How many shots do you need?
There are three shots. Once you get the first shot, you need a second shot two months later. You need to get a third shot six months after you get the first shot.

How long are you protected?
Since the vaccine is new, more studies need to be done. For example, the FDA does not know if you will need to have a booster after a couple of years.

Should I get the vaccine if I already have HPV?
The vaccine will not treat or cure HPV. It may help people who have one type of HPV from being infected with the other types. For example, if you have type 6, it may protect you from getting type 16.

I beleive in Irish Wales

So I am going to attempt a country by country post.. we will see how it pans out.

We had asked Jessica where she wanted to go whilst in our care this summer and she never really responded. I did hear her say Ireland so immediately I booked us a trip. Where to? Well uhh why not the capital.. Dublin. Heh. You can review below on my post about our flight there which I will say now, on subsequent journeys, we had even worse experiences.

We got to Dublin and were proud that we easily grabbed a map and found our way to the hostel after 30 minute bus ride, lunch break at a pub on the Liffey River, and a 15 minute walk to our home for the next couple of days. Well what is there to do here? I have no idea where to look but usually hostels give you a ton of information on the local attractions so we had a look and decided on a hop on hop off bus tour. We missed it for that evening so decided to walk around and see what on the bus stop list was close.

The next day.. hurray bus tour! We get on after grabbing a snack and our first trip around we had the english pre recorded tour. We were hoping to listen to teh history of teh Irish people over teh past tousund yeers.. hoy tee toy toy toy. Unfortunately this was not the case. The tour is only good for use as a bus service to landmarks. They tell you where they are.. most can't be seen from the bus and if you are lucky, they may tell you when it was built or maybe why it was significant.

We got off at a few of the stops, most we had actually seen from just walking around the night before. Overall I was disapointed with the tour. It made Dublin seem dumpy and boring and that no one had any pride. I have had other good bus tours and even when there isn't anything interesting they fill in with useless bits of information or stories to at least make you feel like you were getting your monies worth. On a past tour in Budapest my favorite line was "On the right is the beautiful Hilton hotel. It hosts many weddings of famous peoples like >insert lame B actress< nephew. It is beautiful and you will like it." Even when we had a live tour guide, he was surly and said he didn't like his job and could only stand doing it 2 days a week. He also sort of just repeated what the audio tour said.

We did a Guinness factory tour there which I have been told is the ONE thing you need to do. It was kinda neat but Jessica and I are not big drinkers and both gagged when they gave us samples of beer. At the end they offered a pint of Guinness but we opted for sodas. We really enjoyed the social resposibility in drinking room and the wall of beer where we could put our own notes on the wall for other Guinness vistors that day. The building is in the shape of a pint glass... derp.. and it is about 9 stories to the top where the tour ends. We raced down to the bottom plowing everyone down which was kinda cool.

Oh yeah did I tell you I had the flu? weak. I perservered. We did a lot of shopping.. a lot of walking and decided to end our evening in the Temple Bar district. That was a lot of fun as Jessica was introduced to Hen nights, shady drug dealing, and a homeless crack addicts vagina. We managed to avoid getting peed on.. barely.

It was fun because we were doing the fly on the wall thing until we had to pee. I got Jessica in to a bar after wooing a bouncer with my knowledge of the current Euro 2008 cup standings. We watched the rest of the game and then went back to our hostel.

Our final day it was pissing down rain. We packed up and went to go see the book of Kells The line was a million people long and it cost about 10 euro each so we said screw it and I will explain why later. Basically we got soaked waiting a half an hour for our bus to the airport.. our plane was delayed.. and when we got home there was a party!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was Andrew's birthday and he and Alex had some freinds over and the BBQ fired up. We had good food.. chatted, played games. Perhaps this was the first time Jessica was questioned on her culture and told how "weird" it is. You know.. prom, not drinking, graduation ceremonies etc. We also learned how well Andrew could juggle but only with his BFF Luke. We all relaxed until our next trip which was only a few days away!!

In all, Dublin was fun but not a HUGE cultural experience. It was a place to go party and everything seems expensive here. I keep saying this but it was disapointing that many of the historic buildings were built around or not taken care of... or shot up. I understand a turbulent history but one example was the 1100ad castle hidden by a bunch of ugly buildings and with a blocky 1960's style cement building handing off of it. Really ruins things...

Afterwards, Jessica said she really wanted to see sheep and country side. WTF!!! We coulda just gone to Granny's!! Well we DID go to Granny's. And we DID see sheep there. :)