1. Cruises
2. Wienerschnitzel
3. X-Factor/Pop Idol/ Somewhere’s got Talent
4. Disneyland/Disneyworld
5. MMORPGs
6. Real Ale
7. Louis Theroux
8. Steampunk
9. High fashion
10. Failure
11. Bonus 11th – Music in Offices

I bought my first house when I was 21 years old. It was a brand new house, far too big for Deanne and me but I was young and flippant and wanted the biggest goddamn house I could get my hands on. That was my only criteria. It had to be big, look impressive, have lots of rooms and basically make me feel good about myself. Yes, it was an ego purchase in many ways. Could I afford it? Yes but barely. Did I consider future value, how long we’d be there, cost of maintenance, energy efficiency, relative location to friends and family, etc. Hell no, of course I didn’t.

Our first house in California

Incredibly, I got away with it. In fact we doubled our money on the house in just over 2 years. The chart below is from Zillow.com and while I’ve removed the price points you still get an idea of how much we lucked out. And yes, we lucked out, it wasn’t genius speculation on my part or brilliant analysis of the volatile California housing market. It was dumb luck. In fact, the market was so volatile that just a 3 years after we sold the house, we could have bought it back with the PROFIT we made from selling it in the first place. Now THAT’S volatility.

We bought at point 1 and sold at point 2

10 years ago when we bought that house, real estate was a safe bet. Hell, for the most part it’s been a safe bet for the last 50 years. Insurance against stock market volatility and inflation. The rule of thumb when we bought our house was that one should expect the value of the house to double every 10 years. Decade after decade this was true. And then in the late 90s/early 2000s the market began to accelerate, especially in California where it just went crazy. Values were exploding, anyone (including a 21 year old kid) could get a mortgage, house-flipping became the fast way to big bucks. Buying a house seemed like a no brainer to first-time buyers and investors alike.

But then the bubble burst. On both sides of the pond. Values tanked, people were upside down in mortgages they couldn’t afford, foreclosures skyrocketed, entire cities like Las Vegas and Phoenix were brought their knees. The same happened here in England, although not as spectacularly. And now the markets are generally stagnating. Values are stuck in post-bubble slumps, houses remain on the market for years when they would ordinarily be caught up in bidding wars. I’ve been in my current neighborhood for two and a half years now and the house across the street from us has been on the market from pretty much the day we moved in. They’ve changed real estate companies several times, lowered the price, tried everything but nothing is shifting that place.

It’s always been assumed that one should own a home, it was the natural progression of adult life. You have to “get on the property ladder” as the Brits say. Someone referred to this as the “American Myth” – the white picket fence, keeping up with the Joneses, etc. But after we sold our last home a few years ago and I was officially out of the housing market, I began to seriously challenge that assumption, especially after I embarked on my new career path as a self-employed wantrepreneur.

Here’s what home ownership in 2012 boils down to for me:

- It’s capital intensive. Since the mortgage crisis, buyers have to fork out a huge down payment. “It’s an investment!” I hear you cry. Not so fast, Charlie – in the US, inflation-adjusted housing returned 0.4% from 1890 – 2004. Still sound like a good investment? There are so many better vehicles for your cash in 2012. Hell, even the stock market would give you a better return. Or take a small chunk of that down payment and start a business. Now THAT’s a life changing investment.

- It’s time intensive. Especially in England where the entire house buying process seems completely archaic and convoluted.

- You have to maintain the house yourself. Now that’s easy (and possibly fun) for a very small percentage of you. But for the vast majority of people, when the heater craps out or the roof starts leaking, it’s wonderful to be able to say “NMFP” and call the landlord who has to incur the expense, not you.

- It lumbers you with an extraordinary amount of debt for the rest of your life. You are trapped by a crushing 6 figure debt that you slowly chip away at for 30-40 years.

- If you’re upside down in your mortgage, you’re trapped. You can’t sell, you can’t move, you can’t get cash from your investment. That’s not a nice feeling.

- It’s very hard to access the equity in your investment. If you want to borrow against the value of your home, you can but rates are high, there’s payments involved and of course you risk losing your house if you don’t keep up with the payments. Liquidity is king in 2012.

- It’s incredibly inflexible. Let’s say you want to move somewhere new. New city, new country, whatever. As a renter you give your 30 day notice and you’re off. As a homeowner, you have to either sell your place or find a suitable renter. Neither are trivial exercises.

Now I’m dealing in generalizations here and reflecting on my own opinion. There are exceptions. I think multi-unit and commercial real estate investment can yield healthy returns AND healthy cashflow. It’s something I’m exploring myself. I know well off people in beautiful suburban homes who are considering selling those homes, renting a house and using the proceeds from the sale to buy a small vacation home in a desirable part of the world. Smart. There’s a cost savings on vacation accommodation and cashflow opportunity when you’re not using the vacation home. AND no penalties for owning a second home. In fact some of the wealthiest people I know are renters and diversify their investments to (obviously) great effect.

But for those of you considering buying your first home or even if you already have, I’d urge you to carefully examine WHY you want to buy a house. And ask yourself if you could do something better with that cash.

Oh and my first house? It’s still worth less than when we bought it for way back in 2002. And has been for over 5 years. Does that sound like a good investment for you?

Do you rent? Own? Considering buying a place? I’d love your thoughts.

Earlier this evening we ordered a pizza online from my favorite pizza chain, Round Table Pizza. We decided on a large supreme pizza and 6 garlic twists. The order came to $28.99 and I opted to pay when I picked it up. When I arrived at the restaurant, the place was heaving. Three little league teams were having their pre-season meetings and there were kids running around everywhere. The cute but frazzled shift manager asked for my phone number so she could look up the order. I knew immediately from the look on her face that something wasn’t right. “Give me your phone number one more time,” she asked. I did, and she replied with the same puzzled look. “And you ordered online?” I assured here I did and showed her the receipt on my phone. She furrowed her brow and asked me to wait a moment. I knew what was coming.

A few moments later, the manager appeared and took over the case. He apologized, reconfirmed my order and explained that the order had been missed due to the sheer volume of orders they were dealing with at the moment. “It happens,” I said and explained that I had worked in this very same pizza parlor when I was 16 so I could sympathize. He re-tallied my order, looked me in the eye and said “Ok your order comes to $15.99.” It took me a moment to realize what he’d done. That’s a heck of a discount. Admirable.

But the story doesn’t end there.

I walked to a nearby table to wait for my pizza to come out of the oven and glanced at my receipt. Wait a sec, something isn’t right. The receipt just had 1 x Large Supreme. That’s it. No twists. I sighed and went up to the counter and said to the manager “I hate to be a pain in the ass but I had garlic twists on my original order.” The manager looked at me and simply said “I know.” Wow, so not only had he given me a substantial discount on my pizza, he’d thrown in the garlic twists for free.

Look, I know it’s just frickin’ pizza but this is a great example of service recovery. They screwed up but they did so much right to fix it. They NEVER suggested that it might have been my fault; did I screw up the online order? Did I place the order to the wrong branch? There was never a hint that this was anything but their fault. Another thing they did right was not make a song and dance about how they were fixing the problem. They just did it. No explanations of the discount, no hoop-la about the free twists, no empty apologies. Just a substantial gesture to acknowledge their mistake and try to keep a loyal customer. And let me tell you, they succeeded on both fronts.

Customer service is far less about the problem itself, it’s about how you fix the problem, that’s how you’ll be judged.

So for 2011 I did 29 flights covering 80,732 miles, down substantially from last year’s 103, 828 miles on 36 flights. But still a heck of a lot of travel. I made a conscious effort to travel less this year so I could spend more time with my wife and son and it seems to have worked.

Don’t get me wrong though, I still did some of my trademark “silly” trips like flying from San Francisco back to London for 40 hours so I could speak at a conference. I need to knock that off, it’s not healthy.

As always, below is the list of cities I was lucky enough to visit in 2011, along with some neat stats that OpenFlights spit out.

- Istanbul
- Shanghai
- Muscat (Twice)
- Kuala Lumpur (Twice)
- Uzes (Twice)
- Strømstad
- LA
- San Francisco (Twice)
- Las Vegas
- Hong Kong
- Amsterdam
- London

Average Distance: 2784mi
Average Time:  6h03m
Longest: LHR↔HKG, 5980 mi, 12h27m
Shortest:  LGW↔AMS, 226 mi, 00:57

Airlines:

Oman Air - 8 flights
Virgin Atlantic Airways - 8 flights
easyJet - 6 flights
Virgin America - 3 flights
Ryanair - 2 flights
British Airways - 2 flights

The FAA has drawn a lot of ire for steadfastly refusing to relax the ban on all electronic devices during takeoff and landing, a ban which, as Joe points out, seems hypocritical when pilots use iPads on the flightdeck as Electronic Flight Bags (EFBs.)

As a recovering airline employee and airplane nerd, I have a couple of ideas on why this weird rule remains in effect; while modern cellphone pose no danger to modern avionics, there are rare combinations of very old cellphone and very old (analog) avionics that can actually cause instrument deflection (specifically in ILS). Instead of creating lots of exceptions to the rule, the FAA probably thinks it’s easier to enforce a blanket policy.

Secondly, and far more likely, is the desire to eliminate passenger distractions during takeoff and landing in case of an emergency. By forbidding the use of any and all devices at those points in the flight, they can at least try and keep the cabin alert. You’ll notice the ban also extends to headphones, even if they’re not plugged in, magazines, newspapers, eyeshades, and is also the reason why the windowshades are always up and the cabin lights are dimmed for takeoff and landing.

While it’s definitely a first world problem, I can almost see why the FAA continues to do it. I just don’t understand why they don’t come out and just tell us the real reason. We suck at paying attention when we’re on our blackberries “Hold on, hold onnnnnne seeeeeec, just gotta send……this…..ok, what did you say?”

My Grandmother sent me this article a few years ago, I typed it up because it’s truly an amazing article. It’s a fellow soldier’s recollections of my Grandfather. My Grandfather was a Major General in the British Army and also a Gurkha. He was fearless and tough as nails and the more I hear about him, the more I wish I was able to get to know him better. This article really highlights his bravery and loyalty.

It seems strange to me that I remember noticing Pat at Sandhurst in 1937. He was walking down the main corridor of Number 1 Company, looking ahead with a stern and purposeful gaze, hands in front of as though washing, and weading a red and white striped blazer with the isignia of a “blue” on the breast pocket. Later I discovered that it was a pentathlon “blue”. He was a senior and we never spoke until he met me at Durgai, the railhead for Malakand, in January 1940, with a very warm welcome to the 1st Battalion.

There the Batallion barracks were perched on a rocky eyrie on the lower slopes of the Himalayas. In the early, crisp, bright air, the British officers went oiiut for the first parade in muzri shirts and shining morning boots, with regimental swagger-canes tapping against their wide cardboard-stiff shorts. They visited the various weapon training groups; usually Vickers Berthier Light Machine Gun instruction with a non-commissioned officer shouting “rokhta” to show a stoppage. Pat sized the situation up pretty quickly, and although the most junior of officer, is reputed to have said “But this is nonsense. Surely the first parade should be more imaginative, with officers involved”, or words to that effect. This, true or not, exemplified his attitude towards practices of the past. At every chance he cut away out-dated attitudes and brought reality.

The years that followed involved operations in Waziristan, where he got heat-stroke rather badly; training for open warfare near Madras and training in combined operations off the coast near Bombay. Then we went south to the Nilambur jungles. There was a river by our camp, and a river-crossing exercise started to go horribly wrong when two rifelmen, with rifles slung, attempted to swim across. As we watched, it became apparent that they were in trouble and sinking. Before anyone else could respond, Pat leapt down the bank and dived to the rescue.

Then the Battalion went into action against the Japanese. We crossed the Chindwin in November 1944. There are two occasions on which I remember Pat particularly during our 9-month advance to the end of the War.

The first was when we were across the Irrawaddy, returning from Minban Taung, a hill feature about 2 miles beyond the bridgehead which was being invested by the enemy. As we approached, Pat’s company struck the Japanese position. He was forward, not in the relative safety of Company Headquarters, and without hesitation he charged with the leading platoon and overran the enemy. There was the rest of the spur to climb, so they went on, only to be met by heavy fire when they reached the summit. Twelve of the platoon were killed or wounded, including the platoon commander (Bishnabir). As reserve company i was sent forward, and to this day I remember so clearly the view of Pat standing on a large boulder, directing his reserves and telling me to get a move on. How he survived I do not know, because my leading scout (Punbir) was shot through the chest as soon as he looked over the lower part of the ridge above which pat was standing; and there was much lethal stuff exploding and flying around. That was Pat in action as a company commander. He enabled us to return to the bridgehead the next morning, without further opposition.

The second occasion was Pat in action as a battalion commander. It was the last action of our war, and took place during the break-out battle. The Battalion’s task was to destroy a considerable force of Japanese occupying the villages of Wegyi and Aukkon. There is a full account of the engagement in the Regimental History, but it does not tell of the amazing way Pat orchestrated the battle, with the field and mountain artillery support, a Sikh machine gun section, his own 3-inch mortars with high explosive and smoke, and his reserves. My main memory is of him in the final phase, stalking forward with the leading company commander (Nainasing) in the evening dimness, with attap roofs on fire around him and the chatterings of Bren and sten ahead, and the unrythmic clatter of the enemy machine gun. Once again there was no following behind at a safer distance in the Battalion Headquarters.

Pat was not a person who really needed the company of others. He liked being with two or three, and with a drink in one hand, and a cigarette in the other (with his little finger tipping off the ash), he enjoyed pulling legs, joking gently, at the same time finding out what were the problems of others. He had a charity of mind towards those whom he recognised as straightforward people trying to do their best; but showed very firm intolerance towards those he considered untrustworthy, indolent or time-serving.

I think that the stern and purposeful look that I saw at Sandhurst was of one who felt he had a mission in life as a soldier. And I had a feeling in later days, after he had retired, that he felt some disappointment in the fact that he had set out to defend the borders of the Empire, and then was eventually involved in their demolishing. But those he served and those he commanded, and the many that he helped, know that his was an extremely successful life.

He was educated at Tonbridge School and Sandhurst. He was commissioned into the the Gurkha Rifles in 1938. Before the war he served with the 1st Battalion on the North-West Frontier, including command of the fort at Chagdarrah covering the approaches to Peshwar from Afghanistan, and taking part in several affrays in Waziristan.

The 1st 6th Gurkhas did not enter the war in Burma until August 1944 when the tide was turning against the Japanese. Patterson was by then a major commanding the Battalion’s D Company, with which he won his MC in 1945. He had taken part in the assount crossing of the Irrawaddy, in January of that year. In the advance on Rangoon he was promoted to second in command and on three separate occasions took over the actual command of the Battalion, being mentioned in dispatches in that capacity at the Sittang battle. He had proved himself a tough, inspirational leader, and later showed that his strength lay in his training ability, based on his experience in Burma.

On Indian Independence in August 1947, 6th Gurkhas was transferred to the British Army and took part in the long anti-terrorist campaign in Malaya. Patterson attended the Staff College, Camberley in 1949 and from there was appointed Brigade Major of the Brigade of Gurkhas, being appointed MBE for his services in establishing the Headquarters of the British Gurkhas in Malaya in 1951.He returned to England in 1954 to attend the Joint Services Staff College, whence in 1955 he was appointed as a GSO2 on Montgomery’s staff at SHAPE.

Patterson was given commander of 2nd Battalion 6th Gurkha Rifles, 1959-61, operating in the jungle of the Malay-Thai border. He was advanced to OBE in 191 after eliminating some of the last communist terrorist gangs in Northern Kedah. At the end of his tenure, he was given a brief spell back in England as GSO1 Western Command at Chester before taking command of 99th Gurkha Brigade in Singapore in 1962.

In December 1962 the Indonesian inspired revolt broke out in Brunei. The 1st 2nd Gurkhas, the Queen’s Own Highlanders and 42nd Commando, Royal Marines, were scrambled by air and sea from Singapore to crush it. Brigadier Patterson protested forcibly to the Commander Far East Land Forces about the deployment of troops from his Brigade, under an ad hoc headquarters, when his own was readily available.

The untidy command arrangements were sorted out, Patterson’s 99th Gurkha Brigade Headquarters took command of Brunei and the 4th and 5th divisions of Sarawak in time to handle the freeing of the Shell Oil Company’s employees held by the rebels at Seria. Later, as reinforcements arrived and “Confrontation” was stepped up by the Indonesians, 99th Gurkha Brigade took over the most active front of all: the Western Brigade sector around Kuching. Patterson was awarded his DSO in 194 and twice mentioned in dispatches for his highly successful defence of the sector. He was also decorated by the Sultan of Brunei and the Malaysian Government.

His tenure of command ended in late 1964 and he returned to England to join the Imperial Defence College course of 1965. The following year he went back to Malaysiato take over command of the 17th Gurkha Infantry Division, combined with the post of Major-General Brigade of Gurkhas. “Confrontation” ended in August 1964 and, instead of having to conduct further jungle operations, he had to contend with the jungles of Whitehall to help preserve the Brigade of Gurkhas.

His last appointment with the Army was well chosen. He became Director of Army Training 1969-72, an activity at which he excelled (and for which he was appointed CB.) Yet characteristically, as soon as he retired he took over the Gurkha resettlement scheme in Nepal, into which he put his heart and soul. He returned home in 1976 and thereafter kept himself busy with the local affairs of Benenden in Kent.

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I’ve been a dad for just over 13 months now. It’s been a truly wonderful experience so far but never in my life have I had to learn so much so quickly. I started thinking about some of the things I wish I had known at the beginning of this journey. After a few hours of scribbling I came up with the following 13 things I’ve learned as a new dad:

1) Advice from your parents(‘ generation) isn’t as valuable as you might think. I’ve found the advice from fellow new(ish) parents to be far more timely, relevant and actionable. I asked my brother-in-law Leaf and my buddy Fergy so many questions before and after Luke’s arrival because they’d recently been through it themselves. In contrast, it’s been 20+ years since your parents looked after a baby on a regular basis. Standards have changed, ideals have changed, best practices have changed. What you WILL get from your parents is some experienced hands who can help out when you need it and on your terms, as well as unconditional love for your new family member. Both are hugely valuable.

2) Speaking of advice, the amount of unsolicited advice you will receive is staggering. It will come from family, friends, coworkers, even total strangers. It will be presented to you in no uncertain terms (e.g. “you need to…” “you have to…” “you mustn’t…” “always…”, etc). You can safely ignore almost all of it, no one knows what’s best for your kid except you. Thank them for their thoughts and move on.

3) Trust your instincts, they will rarely fail you. If you think your baby is too hot/too cold/hungry/tired/wet/teething/feverish/bored/perfectly fine, they probably are.

4) Babies are tougher and smarter than you think. It is our natural predilection to protect our babies from anything and everything. We are their guardians, their protectors and their providers. So the thought of taking your kid outside for the first time is terrifying. Same with their fist car ride, bath, meal, fall, illness, solid meal/poo, and the first 4 week’s worth of sleeping. You are in a constant state of alert and fear and worry. But they’re tough little buggers, designed to exist in far worse conditions that the ultra-padded, Mothercare-embroidered environment we create for them. As my sister-in-law Donna always says, if a crackwhore can raise a baby so can you.

5) Be disciplined about sleep. No matter which sleep-training method you adopt (Cry it out, co-sleeping, Pick Up/Put Down), stick with it and be consistent, no matter how hard it seems in the moment. Yeah they scream and it sucks but not allowing them to build a natural and consistent sleep pattern is not fair to them.

6) They can eat solids from a very young age. Baby-led weaning (BLW) is the single greatest tip I’ve ever been given (thanks to Becky and Katy!). Despite your fears, they won’t choke, you don’t need to mash up their food until they’re 15 years old, and you don’t need to chew it up and spit into their mouth – that’s just idiotic. BLW teaches kids to be comfortable with texture, it teaches them to gag (a HUGELY important skill to prevent choking), it teaches them to pick up food and eat it from a very young age, and you’re not shoving food into their faces which, according to research by the Mayo Clinic, contributes to problem-eaters in the future. Read about it and adopt it. This book is great.

7) Read to them from the moment they can open their eyes. From 6 weeks old we read to Luke. People thought we were crazy but every night before bed, we read The Very Hungry Caterpillar and he was captivated, we would have to read it 3 times in a row. Now we read 5 or 6 books before bed and several throughout the day. I’m completely convinced that it has helped his general comprehension, reasoning, and listening skills.

8) They’re good travelers. Traveling with a baby sounds like a complete nightmare but it’s really not that bad, especially when they’re under a year. Luke did 8 international flights covering 29,893 miles before his first birthday, all without a hitch. Of course you need a bit more planning and some extra time but don’t be afraid to do it. I wrote a few tips on traveling with a baby last year.

9) The people that complain about babies in restaurants/planes/trains/public place? Fuck ‘em. They’re babies for the love of Pete, they can’t help it. A persistently obnoxious baby in a public place is the fault of the parents, not the baby. Be cool about where  you take your baby, and be the better person if they start to get upset or noisy and take them out. But don’t get upset when people complain, they’re the same type of people who are assholes to waiters and we all know the rule about them.

10) Constantly educate yourself but be selective about what you read. And be sure to apply your FUD filter when reading. It’s important that you know the ins and outs of parenthood, especially in the first few months but there’s a LOT of fear-inducing, scare-mongering books and websites out there that will freak you out unnecessarily with their prophecies of doom. They’re like Fox News, for entertainment purposes only. As a dad I got a lot from the “What to expect…” series,  I appreciated their FAQ structure and the tiered milestones for each month. Oh and your FUD filter should be set to max power when reading internet forums as they are teeming with categorically unintelligent people and dangerous advice.

11) Ask questions, constantly. Ask your health visitor/pediatrician/OBGYN, ask your friends, ask your brother-in-law, ask your neighbor, ask your partner! This is especially applicable for that first set of people. Believe me, child health professionals have heard every question ever asked about babies so don’t feel embarrassed about your question. In the first few days after Luke was born I had so many questions that I wrote them all down and bombarded our health visitor every time she came to the house. She always said that she would stay until all of my questions were answered because an informed parent is an effective parent.

12) Don’t waste your time comparing your kid to other kids. I recently updated my bio and made sure to include the fact that I took my first steps by 14 months old. Oh wait no I didn’t because it’s completely irrelevant. Kids reach different milestones at different times and there are some parents who LOVE to tell you that little Susie/Jimmy said their first word at 13 months old. What they always forget to mention is that little Susie/Jimmy can’t walk, feed themselves, or give an earth-shattering high 5. Luke walked at 11 months but still hasn’t mastered clapping. Who cares, he’ll get it eventually. Parents that put your kid down to big up their own kids are the same parents who will be standing at the sideline of their kids’ soccer in a few years game yelling “You score a goal, Kenny, you score a goal right now!!! You score a goal or mommy and daddy won’t love you anymore!!! SANTA’S NOT REAL!!”

13) Take a million photos. Carry some sort of camera with you at all times, even if it’s just a smartphone with a camera, and take photos constantly. Your kid won’t tell you when they’re going to walk for the first time “Oh hey Dad, I’m thinking about taking my first steps by COB on Monday so…y’know…FYI, and all that.” and you’ll never forgive yourself if you miss one of those moments; a toothless grin, first steps, first time on the swings, meeting relatives for the first time, etc. Memories are great but it’s fun to look back and relive those moments from time to time. It’s especially important in our situation with 75% of Luke’s family scattered across the world.

and a bonus 14th…

14) Relax and enjoy it. I won’t lie, the first year can be stressful. When you’re running on a few hours of sleep, the kid’s been crying for what seems like hours, and you’ve changed your 200th nappy of the day, you can start to get a bit twitchy. But those times are the exception, not the rule. The amount of joy that my son has brought me is infinite. I am lucky, I work from home so whenever I’m sick of looking at a spreadsheet I just get up and play with my son for a while. Should I be working? Probably. Will I regret not working to play with my son in 18 years when he’s off to college? Not for a second.

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There are a lot of people out there who just didn’t get it and piss away their lives at some shitty job they hate; and to them I say this – Leave. Right now. Go write that book, go make that movie, go record that album, go on that roadtrip, go make that baby, go visit your college roommate, go call your mother, go learn how to fly/play golf/scuba dive/speak french, go work on that open source project, go to the beach and just sit there, go to San Francisco and remind yourself why you live here, go do SOMETHING that means something to you. Even if you just go on vacation, at least do it. You’re not curing cancer, you’re not creating world peace. Whatever you’re working on, it can wait until tomorrow. Go home and spend some time with your family. Take a deep breath….and relax. It’s not that important. You’re all good people, and some of the smartest I have ever met in my life. Go make it happen.

Once I’d put the order together on the UK Apple website and seen the total with tax and shipping, I had a thought. I’m going to the US in June, I wonder if it would be better to get all this stuff there. So I put together the exact same order, same specs, same equipment, etc on the US Apple website. After I got the total, again with local tax and shipping, I compared the two prices.

I ran the two prices through a currency converter. And promptly spat my coffee out all over my desk. Here’s why:

Total order in US Dollars:

UK store – $4607.55
US store – $3787.91

of for my British friends…

Total order in British Pounds:

UK store – £2867.00
US store – £2356.98

The exact same order is nearly a THOUSAND DOLLARS more expensive in the UK than it is in the US. Or a full 500 quid more expensive. I could feasibly fly to New York, get all the stuff at an Apple store and fly back and STILL save money.

This disparity isn’t confined to just Apple products, I’m told it’s been the same with consoles, video games, software, appliances, cars, etc, etc for years. Is it due to import duty, sales (VAT) tax, or other economic factors…..or is it smart retailers pricing their products at levels the market has and will continue to bear? Either way, ouch.

Anyway, the smart people at Merv Griffin realised that everyone spouted off the same letters because that’s what they saw Merle from Sandusky, Ohio do when he won a boat load of money that one time. So they changed the rules. When you reached the final round you were automatically shown every instance of R, S, T, L, N and E because they’re just a given, everybody gets them. You then have to choose 3 more consonants and an additional vowel yourself.

Ok, Alex, where are you going with this.

I came across the brand guidelines for a major brand this morning and I realized something. The RSTLNE scenario is exactly the same as when you determine your brand values. When we’re asked to define or state our brand values, most companies will spout off the same list and I guarantee it contains at least 4 of the following 5:
- challenging
- ethical
- fun
- inspiring
- quality-driven

Ok I don’t think I should have to tell you this but if you’re NOT all of those things, then you’re in big trouble. In fact, you’re a dick. Not fun? Not ethical? Not quality-driven? I don’t want anything to do with you.

Instead of taking the easy option and adopting a list of values that should be already in the DNA of your brand, try spending a bit more time to define values that properly reflect who you are and who you want to be. And just as importantly, clearly define HOW you are going to live those brand values in everything you do for every moment that your brand exists. Don’t just carve it in marble and stick it up in your lobby, LIVE it.

So here’s what I’m going to propose. When you’re developing your brand, consider those brand values as a given. Vanna is going to give them to you before you even have a chance to start because……EVERYBODY DOES IT. And so should you.

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Don’t forget to book your ticket to our upcoming digital marketing workshop “Adventures in Digital Marketing“!
March 28th at Wallacespace in London.
Ticket and info available at http://www.adventuresin.co.uk
Use coupon code TWITTER for 10% off your ticket!