October 31, 2005
Encouragement
n 1: the expression of approval and support [ant: discouragement]
2: the act of giving hope or support to someone [syn: boost]
3: the feeling of being encouraged
Sometimes I feel a lack of encouragement and support from a particular avenue of my life. Some might say I interpret it incorrectly. Others might say I ask too much. I say, the minimum I ask for is if you don't want to encourage me or support me, don't bring me down. Not a lot to ask I feel. Should I censor myself around particular individuals? I don't believe I should.
So I am doing an AIDS Ride. I'm sure you all have heard. I'm proud that I will be riding 585 miles. Support me. If you don't want to give money to a "gay organization," donate that money to someone who needs a little encouragement throughout a 7 day adventure. I've started my training... the journey begins.
October 30, 2005
AIDS in America
AIDS was first identified as a disease in America in 1981, and since then the epidemic has not stopped growing. Today, in 2005, most Americans know that AIDS threatens millions of lives around the world, and that many people in developing countries are dying because they can't access the drugs they desperately need. American leaders talk about the desperate need to help other countries, which leads people to believe that HIV is something that happens in these other countries, and to other people. But while it saves lives in Africa, is the US government ignoring problems at home?
In spite of the large numbers of deaths which have already occurred in America, and in spite of the even larger numbers of Americans who are now living with HIV or AIDS, the media-led complacency continues. Many people in the USA continue to think that AIDS is something which could never happen to them, and many people in the USA continue to become infected. Debate continues about how best to deal with the American epidemic.
Issues - discrimination
Discrimination is something which happens all over the world, and America is no exception. Since the beginning of the epidemic, HIV+ people have experienced stigma, stereotyping, and discrimination - sometimes leading to violence, always distressing. In the early days of the epidemic, this discrimination occurred due to the tendency of people to fear what they don't understand - and there was a lack of understanding about what caused AIDS and how people could become infected.
As early as 1983, police officers in San Francisco wore special masks and gloves for use when dealing with a 'suspected AIDS patient'. They were concerned that they could bring the bug home and their whole family could get AIDS. At the same time landlords evicted tenants who had AIDS, and in 1985 Ryan White, a 13-year old schoolboy who had become infected via a blood transfusion, was banned from going to school, in case the other children "might pick up AIDS".
A Florida family called the Rays had three sons who were each HIV+, haemophiliacs who contracted the virus from infected blood products. In 1986, the family were told that their sons were not to attend the local school. They moved to Alabama, where the same thing happened. The family began to be threatened, and eventually the Rays' small single-storey house was doused with gasoline and torched.
Such violence is clearly the result of an extreme and unacceptable level of discrimination. The United States now has legislation which makes it illegal to discriminate against someone on the basis of their HIV status, and as early as 1986 the government made clear to employers that they would be prosecuted if they discriminated against HIV+ people. In spite of this, discrimination is something which still occurs today, and although it may not involve physical violence, it can still have traumatic consequences for HIV+ people.
Reasons for discrimination
This sort of discrimination is often a result of ignorance - the general public didn't understand AIDS, didn't know how it was transmitted, and didn't know they weren't at risk from everyday contact with infected people. Those in authority, those who were seen as setting an example of how to behave, were just as ignorant, and when the public saw police and school officials acting in this way, alarm increased. Given that discrimination is often a direct result of ignorance, this suggests that AIDS education was, and maybe still is, either not working or not present at all.
America, however, started early in educating its public about AIDS - the first national AIDS awareness campaign came in 1986, and since then there have been more campaigns to educate the general public and specific risk groups. Clearly, however, not enough is being done, as discrimination continues. Issues surrounding AIDS education in America are examined later in this page.
Another reason for the discrimination experienced in America by people who are HIV+ is the existing prejudices against the most-affected groups. Long before AIDS was an issue, gay people, injecting drug users, sex workers all experienced considerable hostility from society. AIDS, of course, has provided another excuse for this prejudice. It seems that a large proportion of the American public still associate HIV with injecting drug users and gay men, and see it as something 'dirty', even as something which HIV+ people 'brought on themselves'.
To some extent, this is exacerbated by HIV+ people themselves and by the media who talk about the 'innocent victims' of the AIDS epidemic - meaning babies infected via mother-to-child-transmission, or people infected by blood transfusions. This concept of 'innocent victims' implies a concept of 'guilty victims' - people who were infected via risky sexual behaviour, or injecting drugs. Of course, no-one deserves to die for taking drugs or having sex, but the terminology suggests otherwise. In turn, this increases the stigma directed towards many HIV+ people, who are seen as being to blame for their infection
Aside from the distress it causes to those who experience it, discrimination against HIV+ people has several other negative consequences.
Results of discrimination
In a situation where people who are HIV+ are discriminated against, anyone who has a positive test result will be very reluctant to 'come out' about their status. The more people who are open about their HIV status, the more the general public will be aware that there is an ongoing problem, that people do continue to become infected, and that they need to protect themselves. They will also be able to see that HIV+ people are not exclusively gay men or drug users, which will itself help to fight prejudice. Furthermore, if there are already plenty of people who are 'out' about their HIV status, this makes it easier for someone new to 'come out'.
Another negative effect of social discrimination is an increase in people's reluctance to learn their HIV status. People generally don't want to join a group which is stigmatized. Of all HIV infections diagnosed in 2002, 38% progressed to AIDS within 12 months after HIV infection was diagnosed.24 This high percentage suggests that many HIV+ Americans had been infected for a number of years before they were tested - during which time they may have infected other people. Reluctance to learn their status and thus join a stigmatized group might explain this gap between infection and testing.
Solutions to discrimination
In the early days of the AIDS epidemic in America, very few well-known people 'came out' as having AIDS. Since then, some people have been open about their HIV status, something which helped to show the public that the disease was something that could happen to anyone, and that people with AIDS weren't necessarily gay men or needle users. This helped to reduce the discrimination felt by HIV+ people across America. Still, however, few straight people have 'come out' as being HIV+, and there remains a lack of HIV+ 'role models'.
Another solution to discrimination is to teach people how they can protect themselves and how they can become infected - so they know that there is no need to fear HIV+ people. For this discrimination to be dissipated, however, an effective AIDS education program is required.
(please visit the website for the full article)
October 25, 2005
October 24, 2005
Sheryl Crow
Sheryl Crow puts on a pretty good concert. Pictures are posted... awwww trouble.
October 21, 2005
I can pump my own gas
So yesterday I was at the gas station filling up and a guy approached me. He was probably mid-late 20s, clean shirt, pants, you get the picture. Average Joe.
So dude asks me... “Can I pump your gas for a couple bucks? I really want some tacos. And I’m totally broke, well at least until the end of the month.”
“You want to pump my gas for tacos?” I roll my eyes and look in my wallet, "Sorry, I don’t have any ones.”
Of course dude still lingers...
“Nice car. My friend has the exact car... he crashed it though. It sucked. I just applied at Ralph’s (across the street). I’m totally broke until the end of the month, so hopefully I’ll get the job. So... would you want to... eh... you probably wouldn't want to with a pan handler, well I’m not really a pan handler... eh... I don’t know, anyway, would you want to go out sometime for dinner or coffee or something?
This is where I laugh, and say "no."
“Why not?”
“Because I would have to pay for it.”
He shakes his head no, and in mid shake it turns into a nod and says... “yah, you’re probably right.” Dramatic pause as we both just stare at each other. “But can I get your number and if that job pulls through at Ralph’s I can give you a call.”
“No thanks, but I’m flattered.”
Dude exits.
October 16, 2005
Sweet Ride
Well we did it! This morning Heidi and I completed the Long Beach Bike Tour at the Long Beach Marathon. :o) We met up with Dinh and he smoked us with his sister and her finance on their tandom.
Good times. I'll post the professional photos too, or at least a link to them when they come out. Our next adventure might be the LA Bike Tour and hopefully the 7 day trek from SF to LA in June! Ride on.
October 13, 2005
Got two roommates and a Cameraaaa
Ok, that's supposed to sound like... Got two turn tables and a microphone... work with me.
Well this is what you get when you are bored at home with no TV. It did entertain us for over an hour! :o) It probably would have lasted longer if my battery didn't die. So that entertained us last night... this entertained me this morning.
October 12, 2005
Share and Tell
So my phone completely crapped out on me on my birthday no doubt. So I purchased a new one. Woo hoo. :o) I'm still figuring things out, but I wanted to share.
Also, this was very amusing to share as well... :o) Thanks Lo!
October 10, 2005
Warm Fuzzy
Ok, I got a few things on my mind. Let's get the obvious one out first. 10/10 today... officially my birthday! Woo hoo. :o) Leave happy comments below.
Secondly, I got a lot of good space out time this weekend at camp. It was nice not to have ties to any particular person. It was like I was up there just for me and the kids. When I was around the youngins, I was happy go lucky, not a care in the world. I got to spend a lot of time by myself too. I haven't been up to camp for a while and it was nice to climb paso hill and stare at the stars and to sleep outside without listening to people snoring or rustling. Although there were a bunch of folks up there, I got a lot of thinking and inner peace done.
So that takes us to the third thing... I made peace. That's all I have to say about that.
MOST IMPORTANTLY!... I wanted this to be its own post all together, but it will have to share my birthday post because it was the best birthday present EVER! :o) All weekend I knew I was going to go see... Jennie Wenzel. Yes! She is still ticking! Now some of you know what an amazing thing this is for me... and some of you will have no idea how special it was. She's doing very well with her hubby and 1.5 kids. I have nothing else to share with you all on that one. Just know after all these years, she's still amazing.
All in all, I walked away from this weekend with good, mushy feelings. I find myself a little more at peace and my heart more full. And Mr. Pyon, I'm feeling a little more satisfied. Thanks for reading. Cheers.
October 05, 2005
Unsatisfied...
Two nights this week I ate dinner out and walked away completely unsatisfied. I'm thankful that each time we had gift certificates so my meals for the two evenings combined cost me 8 bucks. That's really not what is bothering me.
I'm afraid that I'm just not satisfied with anything. Folks that knew me back when... did I ever used to get excited? Did I ever look forward to something without a plain and casual attitude towards it? These questions have been going through my head more and more frequently.
Another disappointment, I think we lost our corner bar. Our two favorite bartenders were placed in the middle of jealousy of success and left. Sound familiar? Maybe to some of you, but this situation is a clear example how some people push you to succeed and others are there to hold you back.
Unsatisfied... will I ever find a person to hold my interest? Someone that I find challenging yet not intimidating? Someone that gets me and accepts all my quirks?
Unsatisfied... will I have the drive to move forward with my career and not sit idle and unfulfilled? Move to something that puts passion and excitement into my everyday life? Who knows... I don't get excited about anything...
Unsatisfied... will I ever have a "best friend" that calls me "best friend" too? Someone that I can share everything with. Someone that knows me better than I know myself. One that not only knows what I want, but knows what I need.
Unsatisfied...
Mind Loaded
One of those days today that is just like every other day, but really not. One of those days where I can't complain, but I can.
Eh, enough with being vague. Of course I will still be somewhat vague, that's just being Tricia. Today my heart breaks, on so many different levels. I think I had different friends go through different life heart aches all in one day. I definitely had the friend go through a ton of crap at work, to the point where career choices and direction are lingering as I type. I watched another friend as her heart dropped and she wanted to vomit to the sight of a lost love. Now I use the word love loosely. Why won't the men show interest after the initial interest? So I had career and love. No family issues. I did have a life issue though. Something so intense you are at a lost of words. Interesting enough the words we shared were skim to say the least, but I felt the pain and the helplessness. Was I understanding? I don't know. Will my friend be ok? I know it. But at the same time... I feel the hurt too. I do understand.
I'm rambling now. I wish I had the talents to write using the big words that pop into my head. Damn for my spelling.
I want you all to know... as I come to my next year of life, I love you. No more for tonight. My thoughts escape me and will be with me in my dreams.
October 02, 2005
In Training
Well I say that title is a little over the top, but I am trying to get on the bike because Heidi and I are going to register for the Bike Tour in two weeks.
We went on a cool bike ride this afternoon. :o) I'm sure if you check her site, she's writing about it too. I mapquested the trip, and I think we rode for a total of 20 miles or so. Now that seems VERY impressive to me.. but I'm sure not at all to Michael & Nicole, who have biked to San Diego. Maybe one day...
Anyway... it was a good challenge with four hills that tested my mental strength. The trip there was a little longer than the trip back. (See below for the route there). On the way back we stuck to the roads and ended up going down the Naples turn off where yes, I ate it on my bike for the first time. When you are frustrated, resist slamming on your front break really hard. Definately a difference between HB people and LB people. HB snobs... LB gotta love em.
Ok... here's our cool route. And if any of you know how to get a bigger map without losing a bunch of detail, please let me know. :o) Oh, and I did it in paint... excuse the wabbley line. (No, we weren't drunk!)
