Guerrilla Welfare (and other student pastimes)

It Some Parts Of This Troubled World, People are Yelling Revolution....Im Yelling Evolution

Lets talk evolution.

Now im not talking whether or not we will have 6 arms and an ear in the middle of our faces in the near future. More a modernist view of our behavioural evolution.

Lets talk shopping

Why do women love it and men loath it? Well, i feel i found the answer in science....so women get off our backs, its not our fault we dont care that JC Penny's is having their sale. But women, dont despire, its not your fault....there is a very rational and important reason to you irrational behaviour to the art of shopping.

Imagine, if you will the world 20,000 years ago. Early man is trekking the tundra, stalking his pray for days...waiting for the perfect moment to make the kill. the amount of determination and focus that had you prolong on one thing was totally encompassing. And when he final does throw that spear, he blocks out everything, sound, periphiral vision...he even stops breathing. All that effort for one thing.

Now think about early women back at the cave. She is what is known as the gather in the "hunter-gather" breakdown. Her job is to meet up with the women in the community and collect fire wood, berrys and water...everything for the day to day running of the cave...aswell as keeping an eye on the young children, constantly being aware of everything.

And this happened in some way or another for millenia after millenia till today. Now, i dont know about you, but i cant remember the last time i tracked something across a frozen expanse and then bashed to death with a rock.....thanks to a lot of therapy..but the same concept has morphied into the modern tundra of modern society: the mall. When a man goes shopping, he knows what he want before he even leaves the house. his soul purpose of getting up that day was to attain this thing, and like a homing missle he will track it down, blocking out everything, even the wifes request to pick something up while we are out, its not our fault it our killing instinct.

A women however, browses, she window shops and searches for a slight irregulaty to be able to get something slightly cheaper. A womens instincts have evolved to exchange fire wood and berrys for sales and strappy shoes...im not sayin that they have become shallow and vacuous, but more able to take in their surronding to better their sitution through the path of least resistants and logic.

This is why women can multi task and man can't. we have been programmed to do our tasks. be it one thing or many similtaneously.

so next time your male signifcant other doesnt want to stare at the clothes in macys, or try on things you know you cant afford. just remember, your doing your early human job of testing and comparing for the best deal, and all we want to do is buy a new pair of pants when these ones wear through.

Also mall are evil places that should be avoided at all costs for the amount of trauma the inflict on independent shop keepers and poor people alike. they will be the first set ablaze when the revolution gains lighter fluid...thank you and good night

Posted by will at January 19, 2008 10:28 PM