Guerrilla Welfare (and other student pastimes)

Facts About the Universe

The Universe: Some information to help you live in it

1. Area = Infinite
(as far as anyone can make out)

2. Imports = None
(its imposible to import things into an infinite area there being no outside to import things in from)

3. Exports = None
(See Imports)

4. Rainfall = None
(Rain cannot fall, because in an infinite space there is no 'up' for it to fall down from)

5.Population = None
(It is known that there is an infinite number of worlds, but not everyone is inhabitated. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabitated worlds. Any number divided by infinity is as close to nothing as to make no difference. So if every planet in the universe has a population of zero, then the entire universe has a population of zero. And any people you may actually meet are merely the products of a derranged imagination)

6. Monetary Units = None
In fact there 3 freely convertable currencys in the universe:

- But the Altarian Dollar has recently collapsed.

- The Flanining Pobolbee is only exchangable for other Flanining Pobolbees

- And the Triganic Pew doesnt really count as money. (Its exchange rate of 6 Ningees* to 1 Pew is simple but since a Ningees is a triangle rubber coin 6,800miles long each side, no one has collected enought to own one pew)

7. Sex = None
(Well there is actually quite alot of this. largely because of the totaly lack of money, banks, rainfall or anything else that might keep all the non-exstient people in the universe occupied

*Ningees are not negotiable currency because the Galactic banks refuse to deal in fiddling small change.

Last Goodbye

With the death of Heath Ledger, it started me thinking about other's who have died well before their time. And i thought about Jeff Buckley. For those of you who dont know who he was, Jeff was the son of Tim Buckley who too befell a tradgic early death. Jeff is the most influential musican that alot of people have never heard of. But his one album is responsible for so much of todays most celebtrated progressive, sound defing music.

Most famous for his adaption of the ledgendary Leonard Cohen's achingly beautiful and desperate Hallelujah. Jeff created style of powerful emotion and had a voice of the most delicate whisper to the most powerful, heartbroken scream.

He died in 1997 on the Mississippi river..while recording his new album "my sweetheart, the drunk", he went for a swim, bobbed around for alittle while, and then disapeared under the water. his body was found days later.

Why, am i talking about this now? well the combination of Heaths death, and the fact the a few years back Brad Pitt was featured in a documentary about Jeff Buckley, in which he reveals that he is a massive fan. a year or so after that Brad Pitt's production company began a speculative venture with Jeff's mother and close friend who is a director, on the abilty to make a biopic. Information has been few and far between, but what is known is that the working title is "Mystery White Boy" in reference to one of Jeff's live albums. No actor has been named to play him, and here within is where the issue lies. Do you go with a big name actor, who looks abit like him such as James Franco from the spider man movies, or Ryan Gosling, who apparently has a great voice and can play the guitar. Or do you go with an unknown to make the movie more about the person than the actor. you may be sacrficing box office returns, but it depends on what this movie is attempting to achieve.

Regardless, start listening to him. in todays modern music world where you can download a song just like that, people are ignoring the truly great songwriting that comes with writing an almost perfect album. Grace is a record you need to listen to from one end to the other at least once in your life.

i spent hours trawling through youtube trying to find video's that do him justice, but he did very few music videos, and live performances are even rarer. And of what i did find i was only able to narrow it down to two. one recorded, one live, in the hopes you will go off and find your own.

Indecision 2008

I don't know if anyone is like me, and if you are ,help me! but i'm complelty engrossesed in the election coverage. i just cant get enough.
I know everyone is lying to me, yet im uncontrolably drawn to what the monkeys are flinging. It's getting like the Hills, pushing the level of farce to the complete extreme trying to get that last person out there to go "wait, you mean this isnt real?!".

I think its amazing how one minute the candidates are at each others throats, the next everyone thinks they will be running mates. anyway, i took the liberty of decoding alot of what has been said by the roughly 7,200 hours of campaign coverage i have watched in the past month, and adjusted their slogans to be more apt or at least truthful.

Hilary Clinton - "Vote for me because i was the brains behind Bill, oh and im not black"

Barack Obama - "Vote for me and all black people everywhere will forgive you for 600 years of slavery"

John Edwards - "Im just here to make up the numbers and hope that one of these guys offers me a vice president deal"

Mitt Romney - "Whatever stance that will make me more accesable to the common republican i will change to"

John Mcain - I really want to be a democrate but im a white affluent who has a still shred of respect for the military

Mike Huckabee - Damned if do...Damned to hell if you dont!

Rudolph Guliani -"If i say 9-11 enough no one will question my morally aborhent past"

But now we are down to 4. Two for each side. I can safley say that Mcain will win the repbulican seat, which i suppose is not to bad compared to who it could have been. As for the democrates, i emplore you to consider the french system of a president and a prime minsiter. No mater what way the primaries go it will look like we are slighting a section of society. so here is my solution, Clinton for president, lets faces it, like her or not shes had the experience of it and is a hard ass. and Barrack for prime minister, still young and full of fire. Let him take on special interests and big business....let him be the domestic leader. And Clinton be the international one, she is more recognised and respected on a global level, also alot of what bill did was coerced by Hillary.

Just think about it America. lets not dam ourselves for another 8 years.