That'll teach you to go to Disneyland.

It's official, somebody died at Disneyland."A locomotive broke loose from a train on Disneyland's Big Thunder Mountain Railroad roller coaster Friday, killing a man and injuring 10 other riders, officials said." I fucking hate Disneyland and people have always said to me, no one's ever died at Disneyland etc, and I would always come up with technicalities about a plane crash in the parking lot and things like that but now I've got them. No technicalities, no nothing. He's dead, he died in the park, and that's that. Incidentally, I'd like to put an end, here and now, to all the rumors and urban legends saying that no one has ever died at Disneyland. EIGHT people have died at Disney Theme parks since 1955. August 1967: Ricky Lee Yama, a 17-year-old Hawthorne, CA, resident, was killed when he disregarded safety instructions and exited his People Mover car as the ride was passing through a tunnel. June 1973: Bogden Delaurot, an 18-year-old Brooklyn resident, drowned trying to swim across the Rivers of America. 7 June 1980: Gerardo Gonzales, a recent San Diego high school graduate, was killed on the People Mover in an accident much like the one that had befallen Ricky Lee Yama thirteen years earlier. 4 June 1983: Philip Straughan, an 18-year-old Albuquerque, New Mexico, resident, also drowned in the Rivers of America in yet another Grad Nite incident. 3 January 1984: Dolly Regene Young, a 48-year-old Fremont, CA, resident, was killed on the Matterhorn in an incident remarkably similar to the first Disneyland guest death nearly twenty years earlier. 24 December 1998: In a tragic Christmas Eve accident, one Disneyland cast member and two guests were injured (one fatally) when a rope used to secure the sailing ship Columbia as it docked on the Rivers of America tore loose the metal cleat to which it was attached. ...and now... 5 September 2003 - Guy dies when Thunder Mountain derails in tunnel. Don't get me wrong, I think it's terrible that the poor guy died. I feel sad for his family and friends. But, in a morbid way, I'd like to thank him for proving my point. Oh yeah, and to anyone who says "But Alex, no one is ever pronounced dead at Disneyland...." Wrong again, bucko. There have been three incidents where people have been pronounced dead at Disneyland. It's not the happiest place on earth when you die there.