So it was announced yesterday that the California's farcical Recall Election has gone from comical to just plain stupid, with the announcement that Gary Coleman is formally entering the race.For those of you not au fait with the situation, some bastard Republican Congressman decided it would be prudent to waste $35 million tax payers dollars and start a campaign to oust Governor Gray Davis. In all fairness, Davis has done a pretty substandard job in his recent term. After getting shafted by the energy companies, Davis has given us a sizeable deficit.
So Darryl Issa thought it would be a hoot n' a holler to start a recall campaign. At first it didn't look like he was going to get the required number of signatures, but with enough photocopiers and old people writing their name over and over, anything is possible! So a recall was announced. That's when the "fun" started.
Everyone and their grandma thought they would make a good candidate for Governor....even a colleague of mine. There was talk of Arnold Schwarzenegger being interested, something which he denied for months until yesterday. Clapped out Greek geriatric Arianna Huffington, a so-called Political commentator, has thrown her hat in. Huslter publisher Larry fucking Flynt even wants a crack at it! But wait wait, it gets better. The guy who initiated the recall in the first place, isn't even running anymore! How lame is that? You rat bastard.
But then the coup de gras, the piece de resistance, Gary Coleman, yes "Whatchoo talkin' bout, Willis?" Gary Coleman, announced that, with the support of the shitty newspaper, the East Bay Express, he will be running for the position of Governor of the "great state of California." I thought Arnie was bad enough (will there be no end to all the lame "Arnie terminates Davis" puns?) but this is just getting lame.
I can guarantee I know how this started too. Two interns we're sitting around at the East Bay Express and the following was uttered "You know what would be fucking funny...Gary Coleman as governor." And so it was.
I'm embarassed to be Californian.
Oh yeah, one more thing. There's a good chance that the winner of the election will have been voted into office by less than 10% of the population. Ah yes, good old proportional representation.
If you have time on your hands, read Gary Coleman's manifesto, it's classic. Some noteable quotes:
"City buses piss off Gary Coleman."
"As a card-carrying member of the Screen Actors Guild, Gary Coleman has seen how fucked-up the closed shop can be."
"Why is our health care system in such a mess? It's all those rummies gettin' sauced and rackin' up a case of cirrhosis."
"Gary wigged out and vowed to "find them and put my size four-and-a-halfs so deep into their colon!" "